Floorball Desk · River City Floorball
Three Teams Are 2–0. They Have Arrived There Very Differently.
Clutch Pucks, Flamingos and the magnificently named Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team have survived the first two weeks of Fall 2026 without a loss. Beyond that, they have very little in common.
Fall 2026 Standings
Through two regular-season games per team.
| Team | GP | W | L | T | GF | GA | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Clutch Pucks | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 2 | +9 | 6 |
| Flamingos | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 13 | 9 | +4 | 6 |
| Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | +2 | 6 |
| Eskimo Bros | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 8 | 6 | +2 | 3 |
| International CoEd Elites | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 11 | -2 | 3 |
| Pogo Sisters | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 7 | -4 | 0 |
| Whiffle Ninjas | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 8 | -4 | 0 |
| Skitters | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 9 | -7 | 0 |
Week 2 Player Statistics
| Player | Team | G | A | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ben | Clutch Pucks | 4 | 0 | 4 |
| Previn | International CoEd Elites | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| Steve | Flamingos | 3 | 0 | 3 |
| Justin | Flamingos | 2 | 1 | 3 |
| Lee | Flamingos | 2 | 1 | 3 |
| Mur | Eskimo Bros | 2 | 1 | 3 |
| Eli | Flamingos | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| Karl | International CoEd Elites | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| Dillard | Eskimo Bros | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Courtney Cooke | Eskimo Bros | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Michael | Flamingos | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Ty | Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Ondrej | International CoEd Elites | 2 | 0 | 2 |
| Andrew | International CoEd Elites | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Andrew | Whiffle Ninjas | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Mitchell | Clutch Pucks | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Una | International CoEd Elites | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Michael | Whiffle Ninjas | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Brandon | Skitters | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Patrick | Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Patrick | Flamingos | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Sierra | Pogo Sisters | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Jeremy | Eskimo Bros | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Bryson | Clutch Pucks | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Kyle | Whiffle Ninjas | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Nick | Pogo Sisters | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| James | Flamingos | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Courtney Ray | Eskimo Bros | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Becca | Skitters | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Colin | Eskimo Bros | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Chris | Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team | 0 | 1 | 1 |
Week 2 Goalie Statistics
| Goalie | Team | GP | Shots | Saves | GA | SV% | GAA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Zak | Clutch Pucks | 1 | 22 | 21 | 1 | .955 | 1.00 |
| Brian | Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team | 1 | 13 | 12 | 1 | .923 | 1.00 |
| Tony | Skitters | 1 | 25 | 23 | 2 | .920 | 2.00 |
| Alex | Whiffle Ninjas | 1 | 35 | 30 | 5 | .857 | 5.00 |
| Jacob | Pogo Sisters | 1 | 24 | 20 | 4 | .833 | 4.00 |
| Cory | Eskimo Bros | 1 | 11 | 9 | 2 | .818 | 2.00 |
| Sam | Flamingos | 1 | 22 | 16 | 6 | .727 | 6.00 |
| Secret James | International CoEd Elites | 1 | 23 | 14 | 9 | .609 | 9.00 |
Week 2 Report
Three Perfect Records. Three Different Explanations.
Two weeks into the River City fall season, the standings have produced something pleasantly inconvenient: three undefeated teams and no particularly convincing reason to pretend they are doing the same thing.
Clutch Pucks, Flamingos and Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team are all 2–0.
Clutch Pucks have been the most severe about it.
They opened Fall 2026 with a 7–1 win over Skitters, then followed it with a 4–1 victory over Pogo Sisters. Eleven goals scored. Two allowed. A plus-nine goal differential, easily the best in the league.
This is generally considered useful.
Flamingos have chosen volume instead. Their 4–3 opening win over Eskimo Bros was followed by a 9–6 victory over International CoEd Elites. Thirteen goals are the most in the league. Nine allowed are considerably less elegant, but standings remain stubbornly interested in whether you won.
Flamingos did. Twice.
Then there is Semi-Professional Amateur Richmond Fluuurball Team, a name that continues to punish anyone attempting concise sports journalism.
Semi-Pro beat Pogo Sisters 3–2 in Week 1 and Skitters 2–1 in Week 2. Five goals scored. Three conceded. Two victories. No apparent interest in making this more complicated than necessary.
Behind them, Eskimo Bros and International CoEd Elites sit at 1–1.
Eskimo Bros recovered from a 4–3 loss to Flamingos by beating Whiffle Ninjas 5–2. International CoEd Elites followed the reverse route: a 3–2 win over the Ninjas in Week 1, then a 9–6 loss to Flamingos.
Pogo Sisters, Whiffle Ninjas and Skitters are each 0–2. There are five regular-season weeks remaining. Nobody requires burial rites.
Week 2 finally gave the standings some names
Week 1 left the Desk with final scores but not complete player detail. Week 2 was more cooperative.
Ben scored all four Clutch Pucks goals in the 4–1 win over Pogo Sisters, giving him the largest verified goal total of Week 2.
International CoEd Elites' Previn matched Ben's four points in a different fashion, finishing with two goals and two assists in the 9–6 loss to Flamingos.
Flamingos, appropriately enough for a team with 13 goals through two games, distributed the damage. Steve scored three times. Justin and Lee each had two goals and an assist. Eli supplied a goal and two assists.
Eskimo Bros also spread its production around in the 5–2 win over Whiffle Ninjas. Mur produced two goals and an assist, while Dillard and Courtney Cooke each recorded a goal and an assist.
This is not yet a season scoring race. Week 1's player ledger is incomplete, and the Desk declines to convert superior paperwork into athletic achievement.
Clutch Pucks have the number that matters most so far
The loudest individual performance came from Ben. The cleanest underlying number may belong to Zak.
The Clutch Pucks goalie stopped 21 of 22 shots against Pogo Sisters, a .955 save percentage. Clutch has now allowed only two goals in two games.
Semi-Pro's Brian stopped 12 of 13 shots for a .923 save percentage. Tony stopped 23 of 25 for Skitters, good for .920 despite the loss.
Alex faced the evening's largest recorded workload for Whiffle Ninjas: 35 shots, 30 saves. Thirty saves is a reasonably unsubtle indication that the goalie was not permitted much leisure.
Goalkeeping numbers after one detailed game should not be mistaken for permanent truth. They are, however, actual numbers, which already places them ahead of several traditional methods of recreational-sports analysis.
The season has stopped introducing itself
Two weeks are not enough to determine an entire season.
They are enough to create consequences.
Clutch Pucks own the league's best goal differential. Flamingos own the most goals. Semi-Pro owns the same six points while requiring considerably fewer of them.
Eskimo Bros and International CoEd Elites are one result behind the leaders. Three winless teams are already staring at a six-point gap.
Nothing is settled.
The standings have simply become interesting enough that pretending not to look at them is no longer credible.
Unfortunately yours,
F.B.D.
Statistical note: team standings include Weeks 1–2. Individual player and goalie statistics shown above are verified Week 2 records. Week 1 currently remains final-score-only in the canonical River City season record.